Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
