Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
