its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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