areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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