whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
