I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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