Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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