Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
