i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
