I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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