Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
