Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
