I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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