"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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