I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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