sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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