we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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