He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
then he tried to convert me to islam
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
