if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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