whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
