the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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