Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
