Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
