Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
