Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
