Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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