Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
