know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
