I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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