Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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