I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
