i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
