Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
