I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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