my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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