so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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