thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
