So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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