The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
