If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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