Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
