Its about making memories worth repressing
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
