3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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