I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
