idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
