why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
