What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
