Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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