I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
