I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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