If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
love makes seman taste better
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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