it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
