dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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