Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
