Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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