Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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