I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
