Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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