she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
